Obituary
Roger Knackstedt Thalacker, departed this earth peacefully on November 30, 2020, rising up to join his sons, Brian and Kent, along with God in heaven. He took his last breaths surrounded by his close family that loved him immensely. Roger was born to the late Reverend Chester Thalacker and Leona (Knackstedt) Thalacker on September 5, 1939 in Iron Mountain, Michigan. The youngest of three, Roger was somewhat of a passive child, however that all changed in his teenage years. With his older sisters, Patricia (Meier) and Karen (Menzel) out of the house and his father busy running a large Lutheran congregation in Detroit, shy Roger developed into quite the extroverted character as part of Detroit Lutheran High School’s Class of 1957. How the guy voted “noisiest” and “biggest feet” landed Carole (Dahel) Thalacker, the love of his life and voted “most popular,” is still a mystery to all of us! Perhaps she was drawn to him because he tied her shoelaces together when she fell asleep on the high school bus trip, or because he got her kicked out of class for lobbing a snowball at her one cold winter day as she sat innocently at her desk. Whatever it was that drew them together, they knew it was certainly true love and they soon began their 63-year journey together. Everyone would agree they were a match made in heaven. Their ability to laugh with, at and about each other and especially at themselves was the hallmark of their life together.
Roger was a Detroit all-conference football player in high school and also played at his alma mater, Valparaiso University. 1961 was a big year for Roger as he graduated college in May, began his job as Assistant Alumni director the following day (a job he held for two years before becoming Valparaiso’s Alumni Director) and married Carole three months later. Baby chatterbox and troublemaker Kent arrived on the scene 10 months after that, followed by Kent’s aggressive but loving bodyguard, Kevin, 15 months later. Gentle and good-hearted Brian arrived in 1967. Unfortunately, Carole and Roger’s aspirations for starting a boys’ basketball team were abruptly shattered when they were surprisingly blessed with a daughter, Brenda, in 1971. The family lived in Valparaiso for ten years before making the move to Connecticut in late 1971.
The Thalacker home was never quiet. In those early years, many nights were spent with little boys running in circles through the house as Carole tried to catch them and discovering Roger, perched up on the washing machine, hitting them with a squirt gun as they ran by screaming. The years rushed by with Roger leading the Thalacker charge, and a blur of crazy times and continuous laughter ensued. Building dad forts with the couch cushions, long car trips to Florida in a car too small to fit all of them, camping trips at Misquamicut, sporting events with dad coaching while mom worked the snack bar all proceeded. The family even had a wood burning stove in the house (like the colonists) and the whole family was forced by Roger to cut down their own trees to fuel this stove like “Abe Lincoln did” as he would say with laughter. Christmases were always a hilarious commotion with Roger having a hard time giving the fun new toys back to his kids after he played with them. The Thalacker house became the place all the kids’ friends wanted to be at as Roger and Carole was known as “everyone’s parents” for all that visited. Roger tried to never miss a sports game for his kids, even if he was kicked out by the referee for being a “passionate spectator”. The family, along with the only dog in America named Dorcus (aptly named by Roger for reasons unknown) had spent many happy years in their split-level yellow home on a wooded cul-de-sac in Coventry, Connecticut. Roger spent his free time building go karts and treehouses for the kids, constructing multiple decks off the back of the house and dressing with Carole as crazy characters for the infamous Halloween parties spent with friends. Carole and Roger’s fun-loving friends were wonderful companions, especially their buddies Roy & Barb Awe, whom they were close with for over 70 years. Roger, Carole and their countless friends (too many to mention but never forgotten) spent most of their time laughing when they were together. No one will forget his infamous mystery punch nor the crazy pranks he would play on them.
After a successful ten year stint at Valparaiso University, Roger spent twenty-three years as Alumni Director for the University of Connecticut. He spearheaded the effort to design, fundraise and build the Alumni House at UConn as well as raising money for the renowned Johnathan husky statue that has since become the symbol of UConn. Roger was named Honorary Alumnus in 1981. He was the Chairman of CASE (Council for Advancement and Support of Education) where he received the Distinguished Service Award in 1987. He also was the recipient of the State of Connecticut Legislative Service Award in 1991. Upon retirement, UConn named Roger Director Emeritus in 1995.
He moved to Florida at the age of 55 where he enjoyed 25 years of well-earned retirement. He liked to paint beautiful landscape art, enjoyed outdoor work around the house, and watch (but always fall asleep to) Disney movies with all his grandkids. He was always cracking jokes and was the best Hand and Foot card player one would ever meet. He loved eating breakfast at the diner, working at the crack of dawn, napping after lunchtime, and putting ketchup on almost everything. He wouldn’t hesitate to help with anything anyone needed and always took the time to do so. He was a deeply religious Lutheran church member and served on countless church committees as well as serving as an elder at his church in Punta Gorda. He enjoyed history and could outwit anyone at presidential trivia, and loved visiting as many Presidential libraries as humanly possible. Roger and his grandchildren made Disney World their special place even though he only liked three of the rides. He would spend his day running around to obtain fast passes to ensure a perfect day was had by all. Roger and Carole would hilariously race around the park in their rented scooters by day and treat everyone to spectacular overnights at all the various Disney park hotels. In the summers he would simultaneously listen to the radio while watching his beloved Detroit Tigers on television so that he didn’t miss a play. He could build, wire and fix anything he could get his hands on. He made it his first priority to take amazing care of Carole, always wanting to stay one step ahead of her so he could help if needed. He was a man of great strength and conviction and made everyone around him laugh. He was the guy everyone always wanted to be with. The guy everyone loved.
He spent every summer since childhood on gorgeous Mullett Lake in Michigan. There, in his quaint log cabin cottage with sweeping lake views, he and Carole hosted his children and grandchildren, and countless friends with open arms. Summers were spent riding wave runners and kayaks, playing on the beach, taking long boat rides, and going on adventures to Mackinac Island, Petoskey, Harbor Springs and Bay Harbor for shopping and dining (with white tablecloths of course). He loved counting the deer he would see while driving the dirt roads in upper Michigan. He was an avid boater, and kept a boat docked at the cottage as well as in the canal behind his Punta Gorda, Florida home. The family will all miss his trips across the lake to Indian River, Burt Lake or even through the locks into Lake Huron. The long days with sunsets by the dock and all the fires he made for them under the beautiful Michigan summer stars, they will never forget. The cottage was the place he loved best and where he will have eternal rest.
Roger is survived by his loving and devoted wife, Carole. They had a love that was a light for all. Also left with decades of fond and colorful memories are his children, son Kevin Thalacker (Denise) daughter, Brenda Thalacker Morrison (Richard) and Daughter-In-Law Denise Thalacker. His sons, Brian Thalacker and Kent Thalacker predeceased him in death as well as his sister, Karen (Menzel). He is also survived by his sister Patricia (Meier). He relished his role as Papa to his seven grandchildren: Alison, Kate, Ryan, Jordan, Avery, Tiffani and Finley as well as five step grandchildren: Patrick, Marie, Michael, Chelsea and Bradley.
Roger had experienced the deepest grief possible when he lost both sons during his lifetime. Yet, he had an amazing way of looking at life. When asked by his daughter how it’s even possible to “go on” after someone close dies, Roger matter-of-factly said, “Well, what you do is you put your shoulders back and you live with the living.” This statement is a simple yet powerful reminder of our purpose here on earth. Every time a family member would have to part after a vacation with him, he would jokingly say, “Well, if I don’t see ya, have a good life!!” We will have to take those words and try to fulfill that, for Roger and for the love he gave and taught us. However, we know we will never ever forget Roger nor will we forget how much we all love him. As Roger would most certainly have said after reading this long tribute, “this obituary is way too many words!” so perhaps it is more fitting to simply say “Until we meet again Dad/Papa/Roger….”
Memorials can be sent to Lutheran High School Association of Detroit (https://www.lhsa.com/ways-to-give or mailed to: 1100 Bagley, Rochester Hills, MI 48309) or Faith Lutheran Church (https://faithlutheranpg.com/ or mailed to: 4005 Palm Drive, Punta Gorda, FL 33950.
The family would love to hear from you! Please feel free to sign the guest book below and share a memory of Roger.
Carole and Roger were just plain fun to be around! A lively loving banter was always occurring between them and they welcomed us to join in. For several years I think Santa had a similar muscular frame as Roger when he appeared at our door!
I am so thankful to have had the Thalackers as next door neighbors. He added to our lives. He was interested in us kids and knew us. My thoughts and prayers are with Carole, her family and Roger at this time.
I am deeply saddened by this sudden loss of Roger.
I have read some of the tributes to Roger and to Carole and I’m touched by how similar these tributes are to my memories of this wonderful couple.
We were neighbors in Valparaiso for the first 10 years of their marriage and their first home and we had many wonderful evenings and days together camping , boating and we became lifelong friends.
I named my youngest daughter after Carole and she would call Carole MOM at times
I remember after they had lived there for at least a year and had to go on a short vacation and I surprised them and mowed the yard . I also trimmed the yard very close to the house. When they came backThey thanked us for helping and never said a word for a year or more that I had mowed down all the precious little fir trees they Kept alive in motel rooms after digging them up somewhere on their honeymoon and watered them for
over a year.
There was another time that could’ve ended tragically but thank God it did not .
We had all been together with our campers and our boats. Mauri and I had driven two cars ,he with the boat and I with the camper, to Kentucky lake .Rog and Carol came with their camper .We were going on to Florida with our camper ,and Roger was kind enough to take out boat back to Valparaiso . Carole drove their car with their camper , and fell asleep and drove off an embankment. Kent was with her.
Carole ended Up with some bruises and some damage to the camper but no serious injuries
The love and kindness of this beautiful loving couple goes on and on .Rest in peace dear friend and know you were so loved. You will be welcomed by Brian and Kent and my Mauri who has been in heaven eight years .
We are so sorry to hear of Roger’s passing. We will pray for comfort for all of you. I have such lovely memories of Roger and you and camping, with Anderson family in Valparaiso! Love, Debbie ( Anderson) and Fan Holthouse
while you are gone from our midst, we have another angel to watch over us, I was so blessed to have know you, as a cousin, fellow Valpo alum, fellow traveler and a friend. Lux Aeternum, dear one and may Perpetual Light shine upon you.
Roger was always one of the good guys at UConn. You wanted him on your administrative team. We benefitted so much from his good work at the Alumni Association, it made our job so much easier during the brief time it was our responsibility. He was a great role model and will be greatly missed.
Peter & Shirley McFadden
My heart grieves with you after learning of Roger's passing, but as I reflected on his impact to my life, it also fills with fond memories of the times our families spent together on David Drive. "Mr. and Mrs. T" will always be second parents to my brother and me. I will cherish the memories of camping in Burlingame, UCONN basketball games at the swimming pool hotel room in the Sheraton, playing basketball at the house using the wall to dunk, the Matador Rog got Brian to drive, finding crazy signs in our yards, raking the rug in the living room , hitting rocks into the woods so Dorkus could run and find them (how Mr. T trained him to do that will forever be a mystery), talking in the funny "Freddie" voice, and soooooooooooo much more. But most of all I remember hanging out with Brian, Brenda, and Derek downstairs in one of our house, and then hearing a loud chorus of laughter coming from the kitchen, with Rog cracking up the most. Those memories are dearest to me, will last forever, and always brings me to a safe, happy, warm and timeless place. Please know that each of you are thought of often, and will always be in my prayers.
Love.
Brett, Betty, Brielle, and Bailey
Love,
Jeff, Traci, Riley and Blake
Cheryl
Photo of Roger with our son Jason Steppe taken at Charlene and Dons house in Coventry circa 1989.
It's hard to be the new people on the block, but Roger immediately made us feel welcome. It wasn't long before we felt like we had known him forever through his incredible gift of storytelling that kept us in stitches. We especially loved hearing his stories about growing up on Mullett Lake, and how it never seemed to change. Roger was such a wonderful family man. You could see it in the way he took such wonderful care of Carole, and the interaction he had with his family.
Unfortunately for him, our family took an instant liking to him as well. Our grandchildren would often be knocking at his door, making up cards for them and probably pestered him far too often, but you never knew it. There were countless times when our family (dog included) had practically taken over his yard and beach, also probably far too often, pestering, but you never new that either. Instead, he would be prepping the beach, raking, and building up the sand to make sure everything was nice for everyone.
We can't think of a more loving, kind and generous man than Roger. We loved our long conversations, dinners, drinks on the deck, game nights and laughter. We wish we had known him longer than the 20 short years we had. Those were some of the best years of our lives. We will always remember him, wearing his white robe, sitting in his recliner very early every morning, and looking out at his beloved Mullett Lake.
Rest In Peace, Roger; you will be greatly missed. We send our love to all.
Ed & Bev
I have so many memories of Roger and all of his family, and how close we were to all of them. We had fun coaching together as well as partying with them too.
May he Rest In Peace and may his family be comforted by all their wonderful memories of great times together. My thoughts and prayers are with you Carole, Kent, Brenda and the rest of the family.
The Dimmocks
Carole, Kevin, and Brenda I send you my love and prayers. My your memories of that bright smile and joyful heart comfort you.
Love,
Shawn Dickson Dimmock (Kip)
We are so sorry to hear about Roger's passing. He was truly a mentor to me.
My first interaction with Roger was as a summer intern in the Alumni Office in 1976.
I can remember it like it was yesterday. I had one semester to go and Linda and I got married that summer. She worked upstairs in the Faculty Club and I was downstairs in the Alumni Office. Roger always took the time to talk and treated me as a peer. He always took the time to tell a story or give some advise. It was several years later that he approached me about running for the Alumni Association Board of Directors which opened up a whole new world to me. Friendships and memories that have lasted the last 30 plus years. There were meetings, dinners, Big East and NCAA tournaments, Alumni events in Florida and ultimately Roger's retirement just as I was elected President of the Association. Carole, one vivid memory for me was the night the four of us had dinner in Orlando after an alumni reception! The early days in the Alumni house! The memories are flooding back as I write this! He was truly one of the "Good Guys".
May he rest in peace,
Paul & Linda Mariano
Love, Dick & Jaye
Thank you for the obituary for Roger. I can just hear him say "It's too many words ". We will miss him so much with his terrific sense of humor. We will need to keep in touch more so now than ever. You are in our prayers through all of these tough times, but God always has a plan for us. Keep strong in your faith. We send you our deepest sympathy and love. Hugs, Bob and Jay
Just another normal day hanging out with Papa Rog at Epcot center - You were an amazing man, great father in law and honorary Viking for a day!
He was a true leader, friend and above all someone everyone respected
He will be missed and was a true blue Uconn visionary.
Roger Thalacker.
We so cherish the fond memories we have of our times together with Rog and Carole—as do many others—we are certain. There were laughs galore and important milestones along the way to be sure.
Rest In Peace, dear Roger
God Bless, and Love you All
Roy and Barbara
“Absent from the body, present with
THE LORD”
So many great stories come to mind, but my favorite involves Roger's "pedal to the metal" driving style. We left a UConn Alumni Committee meeting in Manchester late one night and said goodnight to Roger in the parking lot. Bobby Hopson and I decided to tail Roger to the back roads of Coventry. Once we caught up to him (no easy feat), and being a volunteer EMT and Firefighter at the time, I switched on the alternating high beams, and blue lights, in the grill in my black Grand Am, and we pulled him over for speeding. We made Roger sit and sweat for a good ten minutes as we "ran his plate." He even opened his door at one point, and Bobby yelled at him in a stern, officer-like voice, to return to his vehicle. After we started to get nervous about possibly losing our jobs, Bob approached the car, staying back from the window a bit, and asked for Roger's license and registration. He reached for them but turned to look at Bob since the voice sounded familiar, and the gig was up. We had finally nailed the master prankster at his own game! Years later, when I had those lights removed from the grill, Bobby and I made a trophy out of them and presented it to Roger.
Roger was one of a kind, and his work and life lessons will carry on in all of us who knew him, and we'll miss him tremendously.