SURPRISE I’m dead – if you are SURPRISED just imagine how I feel.
I was born WAYNE CHARLES TEUFEL on March 18, 1944 to Eleanor (Strobel) and William Teufel in Philadelphia. Eleanor and William divorced in 1948 and Eleanor remarried in 1951. In 1957 my Dad, Raymond H. Meyer, adopted me and I took his first name Ray as my middle name.
If my mother were alive she would tell you how GREAT a son I was – regrettably she died in 1986 so you have to take my word for it.
I graduated from Northeast High School in Philadelphia and Pennsylvania Military College in Chester PA, where I was commissioned. I spent my military career defending the state of New Jersey for 7 years and because they had a used pair of railroad tracks in a desk drawer they made me a Captain.
In 1967 I married Barbara Lynn Gettys. She fooled me into marrying her when she introduced me to her father PAUL GETTYS. Being in lust at the time I didn’t realize there was no “J” in front of her Dad’s name and that GETTY ended with an “S.” Oh well, a life of poverty. In 1967 we were a SEARS ROEBUCK family: Barb, her Dad, and me. On our wedding day her Dad told me there would not be a “satisfaction or your money back” policy with Barb – I had to keep her!
After Sears there was management consulting for about 20 years. Then, thanks to the Marlboro man and Ronald McDonald, I had 6 bypasses in 1990 at the ripe old age of 46. Everyone I knew told me get out of consulting and start your own business where I didn’t have to travel and that would be less stressful. HA!
In 1992 in Lafayette, IN I began a career where my wife encouraged me to get my hands into strange women’s underwear (our son now has that duty)….we opened SCRUB-A-DUDS, a Laundromat. Three years later we opened our second one.
In 2003 we moved to THE VILLAGES where I could again become a legend in my own mind by playing softball and golf. I was as GREAT now as I was when my Mom told me how GREAT I was!
There will be no services. My daughter in-law, Pookie, has instructions to have me cremated and my ashes ground into a fine silk-like powder. The ashes are to be loaded into 1/4 ounce capsules. Pookie will then take the capsules and open them up in as many Victoria Secrets as she can over the panties and bra racks so that I will become the WORLD RECORD HOLDER for getting into the most ladies panties and bras ever!
The luckiest women ever, because she married me, proceeds me in death- Barb. My handsome and smart son Chris, his wife, the ever lucky Christine, aka POOKIE, and the smartest and most beautiful granddaughter in the whole wide, wide world Samantha aka SAM all will enjoy spending their inheritance.
That is it!
Oh yes, in remembrance of me, no flowers. Donate to the broken Miken home and the local pet shelter.