Obituary
Anthony Phillip Bates, Sr. (73), known as Tom or Tommy to everyone, unless his wife yelled for him one too many times and she whipped out the whole name, left this Earth much too soon on Monday, April 22, 2024. He was surrounded by loved ones as he quietly drifted off to the great beyond.
Tom was born in Trenton, NJ on July 20, 1950, and he was raised by Mildred and Theodore Hellyer in East Millstone, NJ. Though not biological or adoptive, they were his parents. In East Millstone, Tom was active in Boy Scouts, which cemented life-long friendships with James Fair and Raymond Hills. He graduated from Somerset County VoTech and began his career in automotive work. He later became a volunteer firefighter and Life Member of the Millstone Valley Fire Company.
Tom was drafted into the Army in 1970 and fought in the Vietnam War. He turned 21 watching guard overseas. In 1971 he was wounded in combat. Tom was honorably discharged in 1972, though he was impacted by PTSD and other ailments as a result of his service. He was awarded the Combat Infantry Badge, Army Commendation Medal, Vietnam Service Medal, Vietnam Campaign Medal, Award of the Air Medal, Bronze Star Medal, Purple Heart and National Defense Service Medal.
His first son, Christopher Bates, was born in 1971 while he was at war. And while Chris was his firstborn, his first baby was his white 1970 Corvette with red leather interior. He won countless car show awards for it. Chris accompanied him to several of these shows over the years. He loved to go camping and fishing with Chris too.
In 1982, Tom married Debbie. They had three children, Amanda, Helen, and Tony Bates. Tragically, Helen died shortly after birth. Tom was proud of his children, though they certainly tested his patience (and sanity, at times) in their teens and twenties. He taught them each life lessons and hands-on, practical skills that will carry them through their lives.
Tom established his own automotive equipment company, APB Equipment Service, Inc., in 1986. He traveled up and down the eastern seaboard installing and maintaining automotive lifts. This led to decades of him pointing and saying, “I put a lift in here,” on almost every single car ride. He merged his business with his close friend’s business in 2003 after he survived a serious work accident. Tom and Debbie moved to Florida in 2007, and Tom continued to work remotely for Garik Automotive Equipment.
In Florida, Tom enjoyed endless freshwater fishing days with his bright red bass boat. He joined the Harris Chain Bassmasters Fishing Club and made wonderfully kind, dependable friends. In April 2009 he won the Big Bass Award with an 8.47 lb. bass.
In 2019, following an Ancestry DNA test, he made connections with his biological family for the first time. In just a few years, he learned he had at least 11 half-siblings and was able to meet several of them in person.
Unfortunately, in April 2022, just weeks after the death of his young grandson, Collin, Tom was diagnosed with Mesothelioma, a rare and aggressive cancer caused by asbestos exposure. He did everything he could to beat it for almost two years, all the while, caring for Debbie, who succumbed to her own rare and aggressive cancer just nine months ago, in July 2023.
Tom valued hard work, loyalty, friendship, family, and, for the life of him, could not resist a fart/poop joke. He loved getting sliced, not crumbled, sausage on his pizza. He enjoyed working on cars, trucks, boats, and everything in-between. His favorite movie was National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, and he would start laughing hysterically before his favorite scenes even began, especially the snow disc scene. He absolutely hated paying for parking at Disney and would tell the parking attendant his thoughts on the matter every single time he went.
Tom was a human GPS before there was such a thing, and he could give you impeccable directions from point A to B anywhere in the NJ-NY-PA area and beyond. He was always willing to lend a helping hand or fix something for friends, neighbors, and complete strangers. He made friends wherever he went – with cashiers, gas attendants, ambulance drivers, nurses, and the list goes on. And somehow, he always, ALWAYS bumped into someone he knew everywhere he went, even out of state.
He was most certainly not ready to die, and we were absolutely not ready to lose him. He is deeply missed by countless friends and family, and was truly one of a kind.
He is survived by his children Christopher Bates (wife Jean, grandsons Michael and Connor); Amanda Bates (boyfriend Chris); Tony Bates (fiancée Morgan, grandson Miles); and his kitty, Marteeny. His grandson, Collin, and wife, Debbie, preceded him in death in April 2022 and July 2023.
Rest easy, dad. You’ve worked hard enough.
Your sister Patty
Ruby and Keith