Giving the Proper Eulogy

Deciding The Tone Of Your Eulogy

When creating a eulogy to properly respect your loved ones, it’s important to choose the right tone. The eulogy is an important part of the service where you can freely give your last thoughts to your loved one before sending them off. This guide is designed to help you reflect on the important moments and experiences you shared. Before starting the process it is a good idea to ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you want to describe all the amazing times you spent with your loved one, or tell a story about the struggles they faced and overcame through the course of their life?
  • Does thinking of your lost loved one bring back joyous moments of laughter that remind you of their amazing sense of humor?
  • Who will be joining you at the service, and what do you think they’d like to hear about your loved one?
  • How did the deceased pass? (This is the most crucial part of setting the tone of the Eulogy.)

After deciding the tone of the eulogy, the next thing to do is consider the audience that will be at the service. The goal of a eulogy isn’t to shock, impress, or wow your audience, but rather to honor the life of the deceased. It’s important to remember to keep the eulogy positive because anyone can talk about the wrongs and mistakes that were made in the past, but only a loved one can share the wonderful memories that should be shared in a eulogy. Once you’ve decided on the tone and figured out what kind of a story you want to tell, it’s time to actually start writing your eulogy.

Writing The Eulogy

First, it’s important to explain your relationship to the deceased. This is beneficial to the members of the service that aren’t familiar with you and it also gives you time to adjust to speaking in front of your friends and family on such a solemn occasion. After this first section, you should begin to craft a depiction of your loved one by sharing memories that best exhibit the qualities that you loved seeing in them. The best way to accomplish this is by sharing personal stories that can help others understand the special relationship that you shared.

It’s important to be mindful of the length of your eulogy. While you should be able to share all the stories and great times you shared, its best to not let your speech drag on because you’re not the only one with memories to share. Your goal should be to share the stories that most accurately depict what your loved one was to you and how much their presence improved your life.

Tips For Editing and Presenting Your Eulogy

  • After writing the eulogy itself, you should ask another person who was close with the deceased to look over it. You may find an error, or even hear more to a story that you never knew about.
  • Have a copy of your eulogy present when you’re speaking. Services can be emotional times and you’ll want your well planned out eulogy right in front of you in case you forget an important point.
  • Use visual aids if possible, they say a picture is worth a thousand words, but when a picture is combined with a thousand words you get a more complete image of the deceased.
  • Have someone who can comfort you close by. It’s hard to give a eulogy in front of all the deceased’s loved ones, so it’s important to have someone who can support you nearby.